Life Ascendant

The question, "Who am I?" has been a long-standing companion that has kept me contemplating my reason for being and how I fit in the larger picture of the realities I perceive.

My approach to understanding myself has moved from a meditative nature to an experiential one where I primarily observe the cause and effect of my thoughts, actions, and inactions.

The sensations I experienced allowed me to perceive my realities distinctly separate from the flow of daily life while also intricately intertwined with them.

The exercise of frequently asking who I am has me continuously discovering what is and sometimes how I am changing. All things change, including who we are as beings and subsequently how we approach life.

In this way, I have come to experience the elusive nature of the above question. It's elusive because what we refer to as I or self, is like a flowing river, ever-changing.

As a result, each day provides an answer befitting the present day and not for the previous or the following.

This I fundamentally understand, but the speed at which these changes take place within me is a new discovery and I believe this has to do with my levels of vibration.

There is so much more than life in the context of existence and of what is. One perspective I am understanding is that life is an anchor in the third dimension of reality.

Looking at life this way gives not only a sense of structure but also a means to discover and or define a purpose - a practical corporeal purpose and not necessarily a spiritual one, and structure in terms of navigating and understanding subtler realities.

What this all means and how to practically apply this new insight into my daily life is something I need to figure out and put into daily practice.

One thing that is certain is that I am in desperate need to master this so-called life anchoring, or rooting myself in life may be a better way of putting it.

Perspectives of life are like the evolution of life itself - ever-changing.

When an intention is set and a plan of actions anchored, should you do a half-ass job when under pressure or had to reprioritize?

Or... ...is it better to let go and flow with current movement and events? I am a person whose balance may easily be disrupted, and as a solution, I need to have certain routines and practical habits to prevent that from happening. Sometimes I feel confident and in control when a purposeful routine is initiated and achieved. But most other times, I am tense, stressed, and I spend all day trying to get that routine done. The way I am impacted when it fails affects not only the current day, but often the following day, or even days.

This causes a chain of unwanted events that block anything else from being suitable performed or experienced. My mind becomes preoccupied with a train of thoughts such as, I failed to deliver or perform as I sat myself out to do. More unproductive thoughts like, maybe a change is needed, ensues. Or something else must be eliminated to free up time because the very thing I did not finish has a higher priority than activity XYZ. A downward spiraling state of being is now present and could easily perpetuate entirely out of control.

It is not until when a moment of calm presents itself that I realize I had not understood and accepted what is out of my control and that I was not prepared to switch gears appropriately. Instead, I find myself rigidly clinging to my fixed creations in routines. Understanding a concept and putting it into action where it is necessary and needed are two separate things. There is an immediate need and desire to possess a more flexible mind and choices in present moments that will result in an uninterrupted flow and a sense of calm and sureness.

I believe the key lay in being aware at all times and making room, without any regrets, for a natural change of flow throughout the day. I have come to this same understanding before, more than once, and I realize that I still have a period of integrating to perform before wisdom in this area takes its hold, and having myself flow as naturally as a river making its way to the sea. I am recognizing that I am getting faster in noticing and adjusting my rigidness in these regards. I was never a pro-routine individual. I thought they stifled spontaneity and found them to be a commitment not worth making as I perceived them robbing me of my freedom and enigmatic nature.

I am interested in all things... Consequently, I quickly jump from one project to another or give in to sudden feelings and desires to do something completely different altogether, seldom finishing one thing within a reasonable timeframe.

The problem was that I felt the weight of all the unfinished things I had abandoned, which was an immense expenditure of energy. Energies that would never return to me as long as I did not close whatever it was that I left midway. This is something I consciously came to realize in recent years. Closing a cycle could simply mean realizing what I started is not something I intend to finish, no matter the reason.

And then consciously close it. Other projects would be followed up years later with no guarantee of completion. This is the main reason I found it necessary to change my previous, and maybe immature, stance on not having fixed daily routines. Today, although routines are a big part of my energetical well-being, they are tools and should not be a must in my day. If something comes up that makes it impossible for me to stick to a particular routine or all routines for any period, I need to be okay with it.

Occasionally I get really loose and unknowingly let all routines go in the name of flow. But then the issues described above arise. I am still working on this balance of fluidity in energies overall. Being aware and consciously reflecting is my way to success.

The sense of peace, tranquility, and engagement with nature and with myself was replaced with feelings of restlessness, uncertainty, and frankly, that of interference.

This morning started nothing like yesterday.

In other words, I am feeling out of balance, out of harmony with my own energies, and to some extent, out of connection with my surroundings.

Parts of me want to cling to yesterday’s blissful moments.

There are many questions I could be asking to which intriguing and unexpected answers may be found. Unforeseen treads, that when pulled, reveals nuances of possible truths waiting to be discovered.

I could initiate a quest for these truths, along with clarity and reasons why yesterday was perceived to be so much better than today so far has.

The experiences I had yesterday were wondrous and spiritually stimulating. I learned a lot about life, I gained some insights into nature’s truths, and I recognized a part of my place in the more elevated existence of what is.

But this also means today is now, the present, and although on some level it remains, yesterday is in the past. It is no more.

Last night's sleep was by no means perfect, but neither was it a terrible one. It was a night with a bit of tossing and turning, and I have no memories of dreaming about anything. I would say that last night's sleep was a normal one.

I remind myself that this moment is my current and only existence and that I am in control of my actions.

I can change anything about my being, how I view myself, and my perspectives on the world outside of me.

I desire oneness with truth, everlasting happiness, and love that conquers all.

All that I choose to accomplish, embody, and become stems from my desire to evolve in all life areas.

I could choose to see today as my actual normal and yesterday as a rarely achieved gift. And simply be grateful, which I am.

I, however, want to see it as an experience of what can be accomplished. And to instead put effort into creating similar or even richer and more profound experiences as I grow.

I am taking this opportunity to further integrate the impermanent nature of existence. I want to gain new and different perspectives of myself, who I am, and contemplate who I want to become, and how to best be of service to humanity and her evolution.

The way I regain my sense of balance is through breathing, meditation, and being connected with my person, my woman, my true love. She is my center, my teacher, and a reflection of divine truth.

Knowing which paths to walk is one of the greatest blessings in life, and I believe I have found my paths.

There are many ways to walk the same path. Paths that will determine your pace, load, and what has been transformed to higher levels.

We might, at times, take a step or two backward. But there is no need to worry, it's all in the best interest of your development and growth towards a more enlightened existence.

Like the leaves on a branch, I naturally flow with the energies present in each moment.

I am the brush with which the hand of nature so subtle instructs.

Harmonized in endless depths of creative potential and inspiration, we bring forth that which needs to be conceived.

Without plans, thoughts, or must-do’s. Instead, I aim to let the day create its own masterpiece.

Doing otherwise would create unyielding difficulties and resistances of varying degrees.

Continuous interruptions in the natural balance between soul and universe, diverting from the path to limitless potential. Unable to experience harmony and peace.

The universal tides are already set. Going against them fuels our suffering and prolongs the darkness coveting our senses and clouding our minds.

Not knowing or obsessing over what the day might give birth to, I instead listen to my soul and adhere to its rhythm.

Rules and ritual created for any given day have their meaning and purpose. They should be considered only as catalysts, a means to achieve a state of harmony in union with nature within and without.

I made a promise. I created an intention to move at my own inner rhythm.

I have learned that this is the only way I can connect with, and remain in balance with nature, my intuition, and achieve intended objectives.

It is with gratitude that I find myself in mild winds, clear skies, and nourishing sunlight in front of a playful sea.

She hums, skips, and joyfully twirls about. It is as if she is joyfully celebrating a small victory, or maybe a moment of relief to do what she so naturally does, provide.

The gift that awaits those of us who have or are in the process of letting go is nothing short of a miracle.

The miracle of being. The marvel of being in touch and connected to what is, instead of what we believe things to be, is truly a satisfying experience of sensation no words are fit to even attempt to convey.

The importance of seeing with all your sensing becomes apparent and a natural thing to do.

Inner silence blossoms from the seed of conscious awareness, removing filters and judgments, the mental walls we construct to protect ourselves that are unknowingly keeping us from fully experiencing life.

What value can be put on the peace felt when you are in harmony with your true self and in balance with your existence. Even if it only lasts for a brief, fleeting moment.

While in this feeling of serenity, a sureness of what is essential reveals itself. Your mind is at rest. It is your heart that is in communion with everything else.

When this has been realized, you will also notice the gentle smile on your face. It is inevitable. This smile is a direct reflection, a telltale sign of the state of your heart.

The stiffer winds, the lessening momentum of the waves communicating with the shore, the sun closing in on the horizon all remind me of the same thing.

A moment is about to reach its end, giving way to another.

Present moments, when fully realized, are simply enlightening.

I leave the old in the past to instead create, nourish, and encourage the necessary new as I move forward on a consciously chosen path towards a more enlightened self.

Every day is brand new and needs to be embraced, treasured, and fully lived.

Every moment is magical, granting opportunities for divine creation and inspires evolution.

Every experience is precious, priceless, and necessary for growth in all dimensions.

Presently, I cannot imagine my life moving forward with the same low level of awareness and lack of commitment to something greater than myself.

I have two primary goals set to be achieved this year. They are meant to be a new foundation for personal happiness and a higher level of love.

Besides my two most meaningful goals for the year, my intention is to live and move at my own conscious inner pace.

I have far too often sacrificed awareness and possibilities of complete experience in exchange for a needed tempo that didn’t bring out the full me.

A pace that kept me from learning and living my utmost expression of the life I have been fortunate to be enjoying and a chance to properly experience.

I have never been big on promises, not to myself or to anyone else. New year resolutions were no different.

I always had thoughts of what needed changing and which parts of my life, or current situations, required the most focus short-term, but that was the extent of any kind of new years promise.

It might sound like I have had bad experiences with promises, but that is not the case.

I regard a promise as something of great importance, and that one should die trying to deliver on his or her promises. I didn’t plan on spending so many words on this but doing what one says is something I am passionate about.

Life is too short to make promises you cannot keep.

I promise to lighten my burdens, empty my cup, and free my spirit. I am doing this by shedding all that hinders my personal, professional, and spiritual development. No matter if they conform to me or not.

• Aspects of me that no longer serve a higher purpose.
•  Limiting beliefs and thought patterns.
•  Toxic and unhelpful attitudes, relationships, and other lower vibration activities and behaviors are a thing of the past.

They no longer adhere to me, my purpose, or my mission in life.

I wake into a new day with a smile and a light heart. I smile because I am aware of what I have consciously left behind. I smile because it is with a higher consciousness that I enter into a new cycle of further growth.

I smile because I have countless possible moments to cultivate self-knowledge, wisdom, and love.

It is with increasing clarity and desire for higher vibrations that I soar forward.

I hope to further learn and to stand proudly whenever I fall, doubt, or when all seems lost.

I know far too well that most things in life cannot be controlled. This awareness has consequently taught me what is actually in my control.

I do control the promises I make, the company I keep, the paths I choose, and the actions I take.

For what am I if not the results of the promises I made and the promises I have kept.