When an intention is set and a plan of actions anchored, should you do a half-ass job when under pressure or had to reprioritize?
Or… …is it better to let go and flow with current movement and events? I am a person whose balance may easily be disrupted, and as a solution, I need to have certain routines and practical habits to prevent that from happening. Sometimes I feel confident and in control when a purposeful routine is initiated and achieved. But most other times, I am tense, stressed, and I spend all day trying to get that routine done. The way I am impacted when it fails affects not only the current day, but often the following day, or even days.
This causes a chain of unwanted events that block anything else from being suitable performed or experienced. My mind becomes preoccupied with a train of thoughts such as, I failed to deliver or perform as I sat myself out to do. More unproductive thoughts like, maybe a change is needed, ensues. Or something else must be eliminated to free up time because the very thing I did not finish has a higher priority than activity XYZ. A downward spiraling state of being is now present and could easily perpetuate entirely out of control.
It is not until when a moment of calm presents itself that I realize I had not understood and accepted what is out of my control and that I was not prepared to switch gears appropriately. Instead, I find myself rigidly clinging to my fixed creations in routines. Understanding a concept and putting it into action where it is necessary and needed are two separate things. There is an immediate need and desire to possess a more flexible mind and choices in present moments that will result in an uninterrupted flow and a sense of calm and sureness.
I believe the key lay in being aware at all times and making room, without any regrets, for a natural change of flow throughout the day. I have come to this same understanding before, more than once, and I realize that I still have a period of integrating to perform before wisdom in this area takes its hold, and having myself flow as naturally as a river making its way to the sea. I am recognizing that I am getting faster in noticing and adjusting my rigidness in these regards. I was never a pro-routine individual. I thought they stifled spontaneity and found them to be a commitment not worth making as I perceived them robbing me of my freedom and enigmatic nature.
I am interested in all things… Consequently, I quickly jump from one project to another or give in to sudden feelings and desires to do something completely different altogether, seldom finishing one thing within a reasonable timeframe.
The problem was that I felt the weight of all the unfinished things I had abandoned, which was an immense expenditure of energy. Energies that would never return to me as long as I did not close whatever it was that I left midway. This is something I consciously came to realize in recent years. Closing a cycle could simply mean realizing what I started is not something I intend to finish, no matter the reason.
And then consciously close it. Other projects would be followed up years later with no guarantee of completion. This is the main reason I found it necessary to change my previous, and maybe immature, stance on not having fixed daily routines. Today, although routines are a big part of my energetical well-being, they are tools and should not be a must in my day. If something comes up that makes it impossible for me to stick to a particular routine or all routines for any period, I need to be okay with it.
Occasionally I get really loose and unknowingly let all routines go in the name of flow. But then the issues described above arise. I am still working on this balance of fluidity in energies overall. Being aware and consciously reflecting is my way to success. -Dne