Life Ascendant

The answers we seek about ourselves are already known to us but stored away just out of reach.

They have always been there, somehow we know they are. We just can’t seem to get to them.

Instead, we look externally for confirmation of sorts, that we or on target.

The answers are inaccessible simply because we are not ready, not mature, or experienced enough to realize them.

Once your question, asked or unasked, is answered, you will no doubt realize you have been tiptoeing around it for a while.

In fact, everything you have asked yourself, something you believe is of great value to you personally, the answer has immediately presented itself.

But dismissed mainly because it’s not what we expect or, again, not ready to accept.

All is still well though.

The answers will be there waiting until when you need them.

Hello, world!

It is with these two words I enter into each new dawn.

It is with these two words my senses tune in.

It is with these two words I first smile.

These two words are tantalizing to the mind.

They conjure an array of adventurous thoughts and command a state of mind primed for grand stories and discoveries of oneself and those of newfound realities.

My world becomes yours,

your world becomes mine.

We become one as we embark on a journey of mutual growth, understanding,

love,

respect,

and the betterment of all the parts of our whole on our paths to wisdom.

Words alone cannot convey the gratefulness of the blessings enabling us to enable each other.

Please be my guide, teacher, and friend, as I am yours.

Your world

My world

Our universe

My heart yearns to express its truth. My truth yearns to be understood and seen. 

Sadness washes the present when my heart cannot be heard and my breath shallows. 

Time becomes elusive, the present fragmented. I’m ready to take flight but yet to soar. 

I’m awake but yet to be freed.  

Sweet and gentle woman, the universe is blessed by your presence. 

The galactic significance it yet to reveal the true importance of today.

Your eternal love have the power to cure time–like at the push of a button, yours to freely navigate.

You are Gaia, 

you are a goddess, 

you are love, 

and you are loved.

🪬

If there is something we suffer too much from, it is a state of want.

The energy of I want is akin to the energy of I wish... there is no attraction, no substance.

Moments spent imaginatively wishing and wanting are frequently only followed by heavy sighs and often automatic self-discouragement.

And when the moment has passed, life continues without any roots of intention nor action sown.

The emotion and energy invested perpetuate the state of wanting, and I wish, which in turn blooms into misery and a sense of failure.

A want is external, while a need is internal.

A need has all the ingredients necessary to flourish and motivate.

Question your wants often and a lot, because they are the symptom of what you need.

The emotion and energy of want sustain the state of wanting and eventually stagnation in life.

When, against all odds, a want has actually been materialized, you will either miss it or realize it’s not what you need.

The real reason to get anything done is when they are aligned with something more elevated as they are only a separate piece of a larger picture.

More frequently than not, said big picture is not seen, and in some cases, not understood.

This is simply due to the lack of routinely checking in with your bigger picture, that is to say, that you actually have to take the time to design one in the first place.

Personal experience taught me to periodically check and adjust the overall puzzle. Otherwise, too much energy is wasted and my motivation takes a dive affecting all my life areas.

This has been the case for me lately, for I have dropped the ball.

I have plenty of seemingly valid reasons, that when scrutinized, are easily interchangeable with a myriad of excuses.

Not before long the actions you want to take and things you thought you want to accomplish lose meaning.

To avoid this from happening, the larger context must be revisited, written down, and treated with a level of sacredness.

In this regard, I have lost my way. So it’s that time for me again to reaffirm and recommit to my big picture, my purpose, and my mission.

What has changed? What to add and or remove, and where am I in the context of me, my wants, and needs?

Starting with the big picture and drilling down, the expected outcome is a list of short-term goals that are all aligned with the grand scheme that is life.

I am also expecting to form a few new habits that seamlessly enriches my daily life and activities.

Let's get to it!

The question, "Who am I?" has been a long-standing companion that has kept me contemplating my reason for being and how I fit in the larger picture of the realities I perceive.

My approach to understanding myself has moved from a meditative nature to an experiential one where I primarily observe the cause and effect of my thoughts, actions, and inactions.

The sensations I experienced allowed me to perceive my realities distinctly separate from the flow of daily life while also intricately intertwined with them.

The exercise of frequently asking who I am has me continuously discovering what is and sometimes how I am changing. All things change, including who we are as beings and subsequently how we approach life.

In this way, I have come to experience the elusive nature of the above question. It's elusive because what we refer to as I or self, is like a flowing river, ever-changing.

As a result, each day provides an answer befitting the present day and not for the previous or the following.

This I fundamentally understand, but the speed at which these changes take place within me is a new discovery and I believe this has to do with my levels of vibration.

There is so much more than life in the context of existence and of what is. One perspective I am understanding is that life is an anchor in the third dimension of reality.

Looking at life this way gives not only a sense of structure but also a means to discover and or define a purpose - a practical corporeal purpose and not necessarily a spiritual one, and structure in terms of navigating and understanding subtler realities.

What this all means and how to practically apply this new insight into my daily life is something I need to figure out and put into daily practice.

One thing that is certain is that I am in desperate need to master this so-called life anchoring, or rooting myself in life may be a better way of putting it.

Perspectives of life are like the evolution of life itself - ever-changing.

When an intention is set and a plan of actions anchored, should you do a half-ass job when under pressure or had to reprioritize?

Or... ...is it better to let go and flow with current movement and events? I am a person whose balance may easily be disrupted, and as a solution, I need to have certain routines and practical habits to prevent that from happening. Sometimes I feel confident and in control when a purposeful routine is initiated and achieved. But most other times, I am tense, stressed, and I spend all day trying to get that routine done. The way I am impacted when it fails affects not only the current day, but often the following day, or even days.

This causes a chain of unwanted events that block anything else from being suitable performed or experienced. My mind becomes preoccupied with a train of thoughts such as, I failed to deliver or perform as I sat myself out to do. More unproductive thoughts like, maybe a change is needed, ensues. Or something else must be eliminated to free up time because the very thing I did not finish has a higher priority than activity XYZ. A downward spiraling state of being is now present and could easily perpetuate entirely out of control.

It is not until when a moment of calm presents itself that I realize I had not understood and accepted what is out of my control and that I was not prepared to switch gears appropriately. Instead, I find myself rigidly clinging to my fixed creations in routines. Understanding a concept and putting it into action where it is necessary and needed are two separate things. There is an immediate need and desire to possess a more flexible mind and choices in present moments that will result in an uninterrupted flow and a sense of calm and sureness.

I believe the key lay in being aware at all times and making room, without any regrets, for a natural change of flow throughout the day. I have come to this same understanding before, more than once, and I realize that I still have a period of integrating to perform before wisdom in this area takes its hold, and having myself flow as naturally as a river making its way to the sea. I am recognizing that I am getting faster in noticing and adjusting my rigidness in these regards. I was never a pro-routine individual. I thought they stifled spontaneity and found them to be a commitment not worth making as I perceived them robbing me of my freedom and enigmatic nature.

I am interested in all things... Consequently, I quickly jump from one project to another or give in to sudden feelings and desires to do something completely different altogether, seldom finishing one thing within a reasonable timeframe.

The problem was that I felt the weight of all the unfinished things I had abandoned, which was an immense expenditure of energy. Energies that would never return to me as long as I did not close whatever it was that I left midway. This is something I consciously came to realize in recent years. Closing a cycle could simply mean realizing what I started is not something I intend to finish, no matter the reason.

And then consciously close it. Other projects would be followed up years later with no guarantee of completion. This is the main reason I found it necessary to change my previous, and maybe immature, stance on not having fixed daily routines. Today, although routines are a big part of my energetical well-being, they are tools and should not be a must in my day. If something comes up that makes it impossible for me to stick to a particular routine or all routines for any period, I need to be okay with it.

Occasionally I get really loose and unknowingly let all routines go in the name of flow. But then the issues described above arise. I am still working on this balance of fluidity in energies overall. Being aware and consciously reflecting is my way to success.

The sense of peace, tranquility, and engagement with nature and with myself was replaced with feelings of restlessness, uncertainty, and frankly, that of interference.

This morning started nothing like yesterday.

In other words, I am feeling out of balance, out of harmony with my own energies, and to some extent, out of connection with my surroundings.

Parts of me want to cling to yesterday’s blissful moments.

There are many questions I could be asking to which intriguing and unexpected answers may be found. Unforeseen treads, that when pulled, reveals nuances of possible truths waiting to be discovered.

I could initiate a quest for these truths, along with clarity and reasons why yesterday was perceived to be so much better than today so far has.

The experiences I had yesterday were wondrous and spiritually stimulating. I learned a lot about life, I gained some insights into nature’s truths, and I recognized a part of my place in the more elevated existence of what is.

But this also means today is now, the present, and although on some level it remains, yesterday is in the past. It is no more.

Last night's sleep was by no means perfect, but neither was it a terrible one. It was a night with a bit of tossing and turning, and I have no memories of dreaming about anything. I would say that last night's sleep was a normal one.

I remind myself that this moment is my current and only existence and that I am in control of my actions.

I can change anything about my being, how I view myself, and my perspectives on the world outside of me.

I desire oneness with truth, everlasting happiness, and love that conquers all.

All that I choose to accomplish, embody, and become stems from my desire to evolve in all life areas.

I could choose to see today as my actual normal and yesterday as a rarely achieved gift. And simply be grateful, which I am.

I, however, want to see it as an experience of what can be accomplished. And to instead put effort into creating similar or even richer and more profound experiences as I grow.

I am taking this opportunity to further integrate the impermanent nature of existence. I want to gain new and different perspectives of myself, who I am, and contemplate who I want to become, and how to best be of service to humanity and her evolution.

The way I regain my sense of balance is through breathing, meditation, and being connected with my person, my woman, my true love. She is my center, my teacher, and a reflection of divine truth.

Knowing which paths to walk is one of the greatest blessings in life, and I believe I have found my paths.

There are many ways to walk the same path. Paths that will determine your pace, load, and what has been transformed to higher levels.

We might, at times, take a step or two backward. But there is no need to worry, it's all in the best interest of your development and growth towards a more enlightened existence.